Don’t be in a hurry to pay your ghostwriter. 38. They aren’t in a hurry and don’t have bills to pay.0. 48. 42. Hold onto that belief you had in high school that nobody needs to know no grammar in order to get their message across because as long as you make sense that’s all that matters and all of that other stuff about subjects and verbs and stuff is just his way of making things tough. 32. That endorsement of the “Heart-Safe All-Bacon Diet” won’t come back to haunt you. Always go with the lowest priced provider in all circumstances. You could sit down right now and whip out fifty articles on widgets within a few hours. 12. 33.. Don’t worry about your (or your writer’s) subject area mastery. No one is actually going to read the content. Reviews of electronics components that do little more than restate technical specifications in paragraph form make awesome content! 43. Writing content is easy. It’s prolly cool to use IM abbreviations in your content. 14. 9. It’s okay to ask one hundred different writers for a free sample article on your topic, keep them all, and use them without paying for them. Besides, it won’t adversely affect your ability to work with them (or other good writers) in the future. It’s easier to get heavy Digg traffic by joining a Digger’s club than it is by offering valuable and interesting content.” The actual quality of the user-provided content is of secondary importance. Ignore those C’s in English composition and the fact that you haven’t read more than a handful of great books in your lifetime. It makes perfect sense to spend thousands on a great design and then fill the site’s pages with low-quality content. 36. Just get links. User-generated content is free and it’s very “Web 2. Just go with the flow when you’re writing. You can always find someone to do it free and it will be just as good as the paid stuff. Latent semantic indexing makes it necessary for you to intentionally use all possible synonyms for each of your keywords within every paragraph. / Sprint that filling within rotating programs. Assume people love 200 year-old English tomes and General Accounting Office reports. Here’s a great trick for getting writers to work for you on the cheap. 37. To hell with Jakob Nielsen. They are not afraid to summarize a main idea two or three extra times. Assume that it really is possible for an American writer to provide 100 original articles (700 words each) for a total of $50 without relying upon Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V. 46. our opinions are so right they might as well be facts. Remind writers of just how easy their job is. Overstuff every amazing, fantastic sentence with irresistible, eye-catching adjectives. Don’t vary your tone, focus or style in order to achieve specific results. Remember, if it’s a PDF you can call it an ebook! 23. 40. Use sales headlines that feature multiple clichés and at least fifty words. Make fact checking optional. The result will be great. Don’t even worry about paying for content. Cut down on the white space. That means you don’t have to worry about professionalism, the accuracy of statements, or the style in which content is presented. Experts say that conversational content is perfect for the Internet. 16. Additionally, you can be redundant, too, also. 10. 45. Ignore language barriers. Make that personal connection with your site’s visitors by writing long, vitriolic rants filled with profanity screw and barrel for extruder and comments that border on being offensive. 7. Surround your products and service with so much hype that Ron Popeil would be amazed. Pay accordingly. People will understand what you mean, even if you do make mistakes. 22. 47. These writers will stretch a single sentence into three or four. They will work their damnedest to read every word of your content. Keyword density is important. I beseech you to not judge the worth of others in the profession of the scribe by their selection of words which may sound to you to be quite as if English was learned as a language that is secondary but quite beloved. There are thousands of online content writers. They understand how to restate a simple idea in different ways. 11. 18. You can completely screw one over with very little fear of anyone else finding out. Your visitors are the exception to the rule. Talented content writers love to produce materials in exchange for exposure. Trust your mother, who undoubtedly gives your current content a big “thumbs up. 26. All writers are created equal. They love playing the carrot/stick game.”The problem is all inside your head, she said to meThe answer is easy if you take it logically I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free There must be fifty ways to screw up content She said it’s really not my habit to intrude Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude There must be fifty ways to screw up content Fifty ways to screw up content” With all appropriate apologies to Paul Simon, here they are. Don’t worry about turning off a significant percentage of your visitors with lousy content. Strive to achieve the highest possible keyword density. 31. 5. Treat all written content the same way. Don’t hesitate to spout off on a topic, even when you lack credible resources, data or logic to support your position. You have search engines to consider. If you can’t get someone to meet your price, you can do it yourself for nothing, after all. 13. Rely exclusively on freely available content. They make articles longer by re-stating individual sentences.” 41. 1. Forget that your visitors hop online in order to find relevant, helpful and factually accurate information. Nothing says “credible” like a page full of spelling and grammatical errors. WTF? I’m ROFL at the idea of wrtg everything out. This makes the articles longer, padding their invoices and providing you with materials that meet your requirements. 29. Rely exclusively upon government documents and public domain content. This helps keep them motivated and inspires them to do their very conical screw barrel best work! 34.” 3. 15. You can always find new traffic and repeat visitations and longer page views don’t mean much in the bigger scheme of things. 50. They can make your individual statement into several distinct statements. You can write just as well as any professional writer! 24. 25. Tell them that you are keeping the budget tight for this project but if they do a good job, future work might be available. 27. Become so convinced that links are more important to SEO than content that you forget about how the two elements interrelate. Ipso Lorem makes fine filler for pages that are partially under construction. . Nothing important. Writers don’t mind and the best ones are happy to give you freebies without a second thought! 39. Besides, duplicate content will never be a problem and you don’t need to give those links you are providing to the competition a second thought. 44. 35. 19. Rely on long paragraphs. Thus, ignore concepts like ROI and their association to content when choosing a writer. Steal your content from another site and hope its owner fails to notice. Let it all spill out on its own. Bonus points for using “cash generating machine on autopilot!” within your headline. Quality only matters for marketing materials, not for any actual informational product you might be selling. 4. It’s more important to minimize initial spending than it is to produce a substantial eventual profit. 2. 6. 49. 28. That means you can safely go with the cheapest provider every time. Those articles are always fresh and of the highest quality. Fifty notions that will guarantee ruin for any webmaster. Proofreading is for nerds. Cancellations, complaints and chargebacks are rare and don’t represent a challenge—even if your ebook or “special report” is complete bunk. 20. Forgte to spell-check yoru work. Don’t worry about providing quality content in order to inspire organic back linking. Link bait is overrated you can always buy more links if you need them. 21. Buy your content from someone whose Rent-a-Coder or Elance bid stated, “I will be happiest to provide this most excellent content to your needs. Hire a content writer who believes in redundancy. Good keyword density involves choosing a keyword density and achieving that keyword density. Look past your inability to explain a split infinitive, lack of subject-verb agreement mastery, questionable spelling and tendency to rely upon the same tired phrases repeatedly. 8. The words are secondary (if that). Don’t worry about structure or tight editing. 17. Keyword density is something you should track. Run your content through spinning software.
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