In the 6 years I’ve been working, these things have really happened to me.
1. When you ask me how amazing my sex life must be. I’ll probably tell you it’s great, but I’m a mom, wife, businesswoman, house cleaner, cook, part-time driver and bookkeeper. How do you feel about my sex life now?
When the party sale ended without a reservation at $150 and you asked me how it went, I lied and said “That’s great! . You said, “So how much free stuff did I get?” I said “Nothing. Sorry” and then cringed at the gas pump on the way. It takes at least $300 for a party to make a sex toy consultant semi-satisfied.
Okay, because you insist, your boyfriend can stay for this “girls’ night out”. But be careful. During the demo, he squirms in his chair, which is not what you want, hun. He didn’t open up. He was really uncomfortable. Send him on his way to the party, trust me.
4. When attending a party, you should be prepared to shop. Most importantly, this is a shopping event. The hostess wants to get a good sale to get free stuff. When you tell me you will order online from home or call back later to order, we know there is a 99% chance you will not. Order the party like everyone else.
If you are more than 2 hours away from us, we tell you to “enjoy the ride” and be polite. We don’t say it out loud: “I’m afraid to waste time, so you better work for the sale and be worth our time!” So if a consultant has to drive far, please make an extra effort to improve attendance and outside orders. We really appreciate it.
6. If you are a hostess and value food more than our presentation and products, you will be running to the oven every 10 minutes to check the wings, only to miss out on the laughs, games and fun sex messages. Opt for oven-free handheld food and a large punch bowl where everyone can help themselves to a drink. By the way, wings can make toys dirty. No!
Just because it’s a vibrating toy and it’s turned on, doesn’t mean you should push it down your pants. You’ve ruined it for others at the party who haven’t seen it yet. And, you’ve made life awkward for the hostess.
When we throw you a bachelorette party or birthday party, we only get a small order of 3 out of 20 people, which makes us leave the party feeling heartbroken. We are not a free entertainment venue. We are moms and/or self-reliant women who are here to make money. That’s why you can call a consultant to such a party and ask for a deposit.
9. Bragging that you own this toy, that toy, this toy and that toy will not only tell the other guests about your crazy toy sex life, but it will tell us that you will be a really nice person. We will ask you if you want to join our team!
10. If you ask me if I will accept food stamps as payment, please don’t be offended by my long silences and confused stares. Eventually, it will go around and ask if you are interested in business opportunities.
dsgs sdgs