It’s a friend of a friend, Ayrial says, and they haven’t talked in a while.”And kids are more than happy to oblige. An upcoming update to iPhone system software, which already allows for parental approval of app and music purchases, will give parents more control over screen time, app usage and web surfing on iPhones, iPads and iPods.Afterwards, one girl, all frizzy hair and braces, approached a reporter with desperation. “I scared the hell out of her. “Delete it,” her mom says.To closely watch most social media, though, she has to use her daughter’s phone.”Rather than cutting off kids from social media, she encourages parents to look for teachable moments.”To get parents to the meeting with Wistocki at Nathan Hale, the principal offered extra 8th-grade graduation passes and other incentives.Ayrial’s mom is all for that, especially having learned that monitoring and blocks on apps aren’t foolproof.Some even have secret “burner” phones to avoid parental monitoring or share passwords with friends who can post on their accounts when privileges are taken away. She makes no apology.’”And I’m like, ‘Well — they did.”It’s shocking — the language and the threats and the mean things that are said,” she says. She shuts the phone down during the school day (though her daughter can still call her) and at bedtime. But Pam Wisniewski, a computer-science professor at the University of Central Florida, is among those who suggest a gradual loosening of the strings as teens prove they can be trusted.In January, two 12-year-olds were arrested in Panama City Beach, Florida, for cyberstalking that police said led to the suicide of a classmate named Gabriella Green, who’d one way vision been repeatedly bullied. Her mother is sitting with her on the couch in their Chicago apartment, scrolling through the teen’s contacts on social media.”Don’t use mine either,” a friend quickly piped in.She came, in part, because she discovered last fall that her younger daughter was messaging with a boy she didn’t know — first on Snapchat and then via text — until Mom put an end to it.The 13-year-old’s eyes narrow to a surly squint.Other tech experts might disagree.
When I’m in high school, that might get embarrassing sometimes, you know?” she says.Ayrial Miller is clearly annoyed.Android phones now offer some parental restriction options, including screen time limits and app blocking, via a service, called Google Family Link — though it’s designed specifically for kids younger than 13.”I’m almost to the point where I feel like the world would be better off without social media,” says Wisniewski, who studies human-computer interaction and adolescent online safety. It was a “creepy” request, the teen said, that caused her to end the connection quickly.Nor should she, says a retired cybercrimes detective who spoke to her and other parents in early June at Nathan Hale Elementary School in Chicago. “I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!” she shouts.David Coffey, a dad and tech expert from Cadillac, Michigan, said he was floored when his two teens told him about some of the sneaky things their peers are doing, even in their small, rural town.Parents are clearly outmatched. But she did tell Mom what happened soon after.”It’s a full-time job,” Bivens concedes.And it’s often not the usual suspects in her office, she says, but a diverse parade of students she sees acting one way in person and very different in the digital world. Teens are storing risque photos in disguised vault apps and then trading those photos like baseball cards.”A 2016 Pew Research Center survey found that only about half of parents said they had ever checked their children’s phone calls and text messages or even friended their kids on social media. While searching his phone, they also found photos of other partially nude girls in a secret photo vault app disguised as a calculator. They order makeup, say, or vaping accessories, and have them delivered to friends’ houses. “Try to figure out how to talk about it in an open-minded way.
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